


Hold Me

by obidalanetwork_archivist



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Complete, Movie: Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-12
Updated: 2008-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:33:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26246485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obidalanetwork_archivist/pseuds/obidalanetwork_archivist
Summary: ObiWan is having problems with his inner struggles about Anakin, and he needs someone to hold him . . .
Collections: Obidala Network





	Hold Me

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Nadia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Obidala Network](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Obidala_Network) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2020. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Obidala Network’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/obidalanetwork/profile).  
> Disclaimers: Star Wars isn't mine! I swear! They made me do it! *points her finger at Emperor Palpatine and his henchmen* George Lucas owns this wonderful, tragic, and harmonious galaxy. Savage Garden owns "Hold Me."

Obi-Wan retreated into the beautiful gardens of Theed, abandoning the palace for the night. He found himself tearing with all of his inner emotions. It all happened so fast, and yet it didn't. It took years for this to happen, years in which he could have prevented this, but could he really have?

The still very young Jedi was lost. He wanted to feel the lush foliage and smell the sweet fragrances around him. As a result of living on Coruscant for practically his whole life, he found greenery to be quite comforting. He could only hope that its enchantment would tame his bleeding heart.

He ran his trembling hand along one of the gating walls. He felt the stone underneath the soft bed of ivy. Obi-Wan recalled an old belief that Qui-Gon had mentioned to him once; his Master had once told him that ivy was bad luck. How he wished it wasn't true . . .

"Obi-Wan?"

The Jedi didn't need to turn around to know that it was Amidala who was speaking to him. He sighed. He wanted her to go away and leave him to the darkness, the silence.

"I thought I saw you leave. Are you alright?"

Amidala was moving towards him; Obi-Wan could tell because he heard the gentle swishing of her skirts along the grass.

"Please, Amidala. I wish to be left alone. I . . ., I need to think."

Hey,

She didn't give him any indication that she heard his request. She only moved closer, his back still facing her.

If we can't find a way out of these problems,

Then maybe we don't need this,

"Why do you treat me as if I am a stranger when you need someone to comfort you?" The Queen watched as he ran a hand through his unruly hair.

"I don't treat you like a stranger," he replied cooly.

"Yes, you do!" she retorted a little louder than intended. "Look, Obi-Wan, you've helped me through so much! Who did I come to when Anakin asked me to marry him? You. Who sat and listed to all of my worries when I was confused about what to do? You. When Anakin started to change, who offered me their shoulder to cry on? You. After my husband left, who held me each and every night until I could sleep on my own? You!" Amidala let her words sink in for a moment.

Obi-Wan took in all that she had to say. He wouldn't let her see him, but out of the corner of his eye, a tear strolled down his cheek.

"And now, when you just might need someone to confide in, you act as if I don't exist."

Rage raced through the Jedi's heart, though he knew that she was right. He was so used to being the strong one that he didn't know how to be comforted.

"Please," she soothed, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Will you let me help you?"

Standing face to face,

Enemies at war, we build defenses,

And secret hiding places,

"War is coming, Your Highness," he whispered. He turned around to face her. "But you already know that, don't you."

She nodded sullenly. "In many ways, war is here. It lurks in the shadows waiting to strike."

"There are also battles of the heart and mind."

"Yes, and sadly, I've been through them. But, have you finished going through yours?"

I might need you to hold me tonight,

Obi-Wan's eyes glazed over, and Amidala embraced him gingerly. She stroked his hair and rubbed her fingers over his back.

"It's okay, it's okay," she repeated to him over and over. Amidala was amazed that he held out as long as he did. She knew that it wasn't healthful for him to keep the emotions bottled up inside of his for so long. She was also grateful that he had someone to turn to.

I might need you to say it's alright,

The Jedi let silent tears flow down from his face. He felt safe in Amidala's embrace, as pitiet a person as she was. She was capable of so much, and sh truly was an extraordinary person.

I might need you to make the first stand,

"Obi-Wan, I know that you were there for me through so much. I was a wreak so many times, and I owe you so much to that. You don't always need to be the strong one."

Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man.

It was difficult for him to take this roll. He wasn't used to having a shoulder to cry on. Except for Qui-Gon, no one ever did that for him. He knew that Amidala was a true friend, a friend that he could never lose.

Hey,

The Queen even felt her own tears begin to well. She knew what he was going through. She felt sick and depressed when these emotions came up. She tried for so long to suppress them, but she only got worse. She could feel Obi-Wan heading down that same path.

More than angry words, I hate this silence,

It's getting so loud,

Well I want to scream,

But bitterness has silenced these emotions,

It's getting hard to breath,

Obi-Wan let go of her, his eyes now puffy and swollen. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and she lead him to one of the gigantic trees growing in the garden area. There, they sat, and she urged him to discuss his feelings.

"I'm just so angry! I'm angry at Palpatine for leading this whole scherade, I'm angry at Anakin for following him, but most of all, I'm angry at myself. A long time ago, I made a promise to Anakin."

Amidala listened with curiosity and understanding. She hoped that maybe if she understood the unspoken mysteries of his past she could then begin to help him to heal.

"I promised Anakin that he would become a Jedi." His voice quivered and he bit his lower lip.

"But you kept that promise to him. You trained him, and he did become a Jedi."

"NO! I kept it, and then I broke it. I . . ., I failed him."

"But you haven't failed me."

He was taken aback by her statement. He gazed into her deep eyes. She was sincere in what she had said. He could feel it.

So tell me, isn't happiness

Worth more than a gold diamond ring?

I'm willing to do anything

To calm the storm in my heart,

"I just feel so confused. I feel very depressed, yet I can't quite place a finger on my true feelings. I can't seem to focus, and I feel so restless!"

"Shhh," she soothed. Amidala pulled Obi-Wan from his upward seating position and down into her lap. She rubbed his arms as he cried softly.

I've never been the praying kind,

But lately I've been down upon my knees,

Not looking for a miracle,

Just a reason to believe,

"Do you believe in fate, in destiny?" she questioned him.

"I believe we make our own fate and destiny."

"Well, what if this is all happening for a reason? What if this is supposed to happen?"

"I'm not so sure. I just want to be reassured that everything will play out, and in this topsy-turvy world of ours, something good will turn out from all of this."

A faint smile curled across the young woman's lips. "Something good already has come out of all of this."

"What's that?"

I might need you to hold me tonight,

"Through all of these treacherous trials we have been put through, I have come to realize that, . . . that I love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You are my dearest friend, my confidant, my rock, my touchstone. I love you so much, and I don't know what I'd do without you."

I might need you to say it's alright,

The emotion inside him built up, far too much for him to handle all at once. He sat up and embraced Amidala. He too loved her, a love much deeper than romances could go. He would live for her, and die for her. She meant that much to him.

I might need you to make the first stand,

Obi-Wan felt so safe and secure in her arms. Her skin was so soft, and her touch was as light as a feather. And, for the first time in a great while, he was content, and his worries were put at ease.

Because tonight, I'm finding it hard to be your man.

At times like this, Amidala was happy. She could almost forget Anakin and all of her wretched problems. She felt happy when she could make a difference in someone's life, especially if that someone had made a difference in her's countless times.

Do you remember not long ago?

When we used to live for the nighttime,

Cherish each moment,

Now we don't live; we exist,

We just run through our lives,

So alone,

That's why you've got to hold me.

"I want to know that at times when you feel alone, and you need someone to call on, I'll always be here for you. You don't need to feel alone, not ever."

"I know, Ami. I know." He rested his head against her shoulder.

Hey,

If we can't find a way out of these problems,

Then maybe we don't need this,

Standing face to face,

Enemies at war, we build defenses,

And secret hiding places,

Obi-Wan pushed himself away from her, and cupped her face in his hands. "Thank you, my dearest friend. Without you, I am lost. Thank you for finding me." He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

I might need you to hold me tonight,

I might need you to say it's alright.

I might need you to make the first stand,

Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man.


End file.
